Cold clouds rolling in

Darker than sin

Overfilled

Tears showering on you

They dance upon you

For the kill

Why bother to try

Fitting the right

Everyone’s calling

Seems easier to be

Swallowed at sea

Instead of learning

Warm, soft as a gun

Take it and run

Overjoyed

Quiet just like an angel

Fitting her wings

For the float

Caffeine day-long tickle buzz, fuels all eight of the time-clock hours. Countless tasks graffiti my notepad, awaiting .7 gel inked check-mark dismissals. Between keyboard clickity clacks and a hefty stomach growl, colleagues make shop-talk pit stops at the edge of my desk. Sweaty coaches and unsettled newbies explain the things which make their day less than smooth running. Restroom breaks, coffee takes, and copy machine mistakes break up the monotony of the desk bound computer stare….

Today I have the same feeling those commercials give, selling new miracle pills that will cure all my evils; bubbly music plays as the perfect woman with shiny hair and white smiling teeth skips on the beach to beefcake beau for a kiss, then the soothing announcer divulges the side effects which MAY include nausea, fatigue, headache, dizziness, weight gain, sleeplessness, blurred vision, diarrhea, blood clots, seizures, stroke, and even death.

….and I take them anyway.

floating, watching my life, a mundane vessel completing tasks scripted by society. a branch of a branch of a branch, insignificantly holding a single leaf of the majestic tree. fall grows near.

a nervous aching yearns my core. like starvation to fit the prom dress. like the upward arc on a roller coaster. like checking for your name on the call back list, or the last purchase before NSF…all at once.

nothing more than heart layaway. the promise is too much to bear. the payments too low. it seems it will never arrive.

a house of straw, some horse blinds and a bullet proof vest. i’m set. i’ll take the lies, a side of fries, and whatever else is free.

What am I even doing here? It’s payday. The murky looming sky deems me uninvited but I would rather be under its blanket than these fluorescent patches of illuminated slave keepers. I spilled lunch on my skirt. Shout Wipes are God’s invention custom made for me. I was good for breakfast and good for lunch and then, and then I ate the entire box of Raisinettes. They’re 30% less fat you know and have lots of them fruit antioxidants. I just spoke to him, the beautiful creature that actually cares for me and has so much to offer, from Asian lunch to fervent love. My heart beats a little louder around him, to get my attention I think, but there’s so much to do, so much to do today…one more hour and I’m off to do all the things which drive me mad.

She did a cover of a song not yet written. Sang to her in many a dream. It began in magnificence, like the cascade of feathers in a blissful pillow fight, but it didn’t come out right. She only knew the harmony. His swollen heart beats incomplete as she scrambles to fill it with bits of love, but she grabs the wrong pieces and leaves the song on a half note with no bridge or chorus or third verse or applause. In flustered defeat a declaration of redemption is proclaimed to be sounded with a chorus of angels on a golden guitar executed with calloused fingertips, deserving of a standing ovation. If she only knew…she could have sang Mary Had a Little Lamb out of tune and he would have been happy.

The voice is haunting, so sublime

Candy coated lies divine

Twisting the tangle deep inside

This spinning soul of mine

Shadows surround and serve me well

Grey sunshine sweetens the tale

On the trap door of this mad world

Slipping through would be alright

Rose mirrored vision clouds my eyes

As the curse safely hides

Shadows surround and serve me well

Grey sunshine sweetens the tale

The pieces don’t fit in place

The voice says It’s no disgrace

I just can’t find my way

I may stay in this place

Blessed weekend for me

I ‘ve a mind to find some more

Of what they’ve got

I’m ready now

Wet palms pressed and sweaty

Can you tell me why I try?

No one else

Is keeping score

I take it in

Unruly sin

Just make it go away

Sour smile

All the while

Knowing something’s better

the beloved angel sings deeply from within her soul, a song to be carried by swift yet gentle winds to her ardent soulmate afar. a song to be relished, bearing the message of raring love.